Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut. We have a hard time trying to make sense of what is happening around us or maybe even getting up and doing something about it.
If you have social anxiety or depression, being in a rut can only make it worse. You spend more time thinking, and become more likely to internalise it to you being unable to handle or cope with things, and you become harder on yourself for not being the person you think you should be.
So you find yourself in a place where you just replay all the ways you are not good enough and all the events that feed that narrative and it just seems to never end! So what can you do? Where can you start your healing process? It’s always good to talk to someone, a friend, a loved one, a therapist. But if you just want to make sense of what it is you’re feeling right now, here are some great people that you should listen to to help you navigate your anxiety and/or rut.
1. Brené Brown – The Vulnerability Master
Brené Brown is a Research Professor who has researched courage, vulnerability and shame. She has made a terrific contribution to the “self-help” genre (that some people actually feel ashamed to go near) by tackling such complex emotions in a credible scientific way to support what we all experience when we feel vulnerable and ashamed. Listening to her talks and reading her books makes you feel less alone in all the negative self talk you continue to have with yourself. She is able to put words to your thoughts and feelings and provides some tools to tackle them.
If you want to find out more about Brené Brown, here is some of her work that I think you should start off with;
- Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability
- The Gift of Imperfections
- Brené Brown and Oprah Interview – Living Brave – What could be better than these two coming together and share their souls!
- And now for a shameless plug: Check out the post I wrote about Brené Brown breaking down how to support the integrity of friendships, through “BRAVING”
2. Ellen Hendriksen – The Savvy Psychologist
Ellen Hendriksen is psychologist to tackles life challenges with evidence-based research. She recently published her first book in March 2018, where she discusses how to tackle your social anxiety and quiet your inner critic. Again, I felt like she was reading my story and she was putting word to feelings and experiences that I have had. What brilliant is that she provides steps that you can apply in everyday situations when you find yourself in them, to help overcome your anxiety.
Here is where you can find her work;
- How to be yourself: Quiet your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
- The Savvy Psychologist: Podcast – I listen to it on Spotify, but I am sure you can find it on your podcast provider 🙂
3. Tony Robbins – He is not your Guru
Tony Robbins is a motivational speaker who is all about kicking you in the ass and hitting your with the hard reality to get you started to take control of your life. There is no excuses with this guy! You have to find that drive and the fire that gets you going, and that is what he is here to do, reignite that fire! If you attend one of his weekend seminars, he will make you literally walk on fire! The point is to train yourself in believing that whatever is holding you back, is in your mind, and it is how you carry yourself in every aspect of your life that will get you through anything.
He has loads of books and videos to check out, but here are some videos that I loved;
- Tony Robbins Talking about his Christmas Story
- A documentary that followed one of the weekend seminars – if you have Netflix, I really recommend you watch this.
4. Oprah Winfrey – The Mother of all!
So… I kind of did not want to include Oprah on this list (I know, how dare I) but it is only because she is an obvious choice! But she is Mama O, who I have been leaning on since I was 9 years old, so she must be on this list. Whatever issue you might have, she has an episode or a talk covering it. I cannot think of a topic Oprah has not covered! I suggest you just go on youtube or google and start typing “Oprah” and whatever problem you have and be ready to have the compassionate words of Mama O wrap you as if she is hugging you. (Can you tell I love Oprah?)
I mean, where do I even start to suggest her work, her work is endless! But here are some of my favourite things (Shout out to the Oprah Winfrey Show segment)
- Oprah taking about the importance of your existence!
- Oprah’s book of a collection of her quotes and lessons
- Catch any episode of SuperSoul Sunday and Life Class because that is truly soul reviving!
5. Iyanla Vanzant -She will break you, to put you back together whole
Iyanla Vanzant is a relationship expert. She will get doooowwwwnn to the nit-gritty and back to your grandmothers story, to unfold and understand your pathology. She will then knock sense into to change your pathology for you and future generations. She is honest, brutal, loving, compassionate, tell you exactly what you need to hear and I love her it. I cannot tell you how many times I cried watching her work.
She also has a very long portfolio of her work, but let me just give you some of my favourites.
- Iyanla Vanant’s talk on why You Matter!
- Iyanla helping an audience member get down to the nitty-gritty
- Iyanla talks about “Fatherless sons” – She also does an episode for Fatherless Daughters
- This whole episode of Fix My Life just had me balling!
I hope that this lists helps you start your journey of breaking barriers in your own life.
If you listen to other speakers, coaches, authors, psychologists, please share in the comment section who you listen to. I am always looking for new people to listen to.
6. Tiffany Haddish -She ready!
I have recently listened to Tiffany Haddish’s Audiobook of her best selling book “The Last Black Unicorn”. This woman has been through things and then some! She has had it rough, but hearing her tell her story was crazy inspirational. It helped put things in perspective and find the humour in whatever circumstance you are facing! She is real about her emotions, however she does not dwell in it and the “Woe is me” tune that would be so easy to play for anyone who has faced what she faces. You hear her strength in her humour towards the situation and cannot help but respect it. It certainly gave me perspective on my own situations in life and just having fun with it. After, nothing is forever and every thing has a lesson to be learned! She is definitely someone I look up to and listening to her audiobook helped me during a rough time.